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.:: Our collection of Jokes, Laughs, and Really Funny stuff ::.
 
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  -- Total number of jokes on 2bone.com : 172 --
Jokes > Men & Women    >> more jokes in this category - click here <<
Misconception  
The Smiths were unable to conceive children, and decided to use a surrogate father to start their family. On the day the proxy father was to arrive, Mr. Smith kissed his wife and said, "I'm off. The man should be here soon".
Half an hour later, just by chance, a door-to-door baby photographer rang the doorbell, hoping to make a sale. "Good morning madam. I've come to....

"Oh, no need to explain. I've been expecting you," Mrs. Smith cut in.

"Really?" the photographer asked. "Well, good ! I've made a specialty of babies."
"That's what my husband and I had hoped. Please come in and have a seat."
After a moment she asked, blushing, "Well, where do we start?"
"Leave everything to me. I usually try two in the bathtub, one on the couch and perhaps a couple on the bed. Sometimes the living room floor is fun too; you can really spread out!"
"Bathtub, living room floor? No wonder it didn't work for Harry and me."
"Well, madam, none of us can guarantee a good one every time. But if we try several different positions and I shoot from six or seven angles, I'm sure you'll be pleased with the results."
"My, that's a lot of ..." gasped Mrs. Smith.

"Madam, in my line of work, a man must take his time. I'd love to be in and out in five minutes, but you'd be disappointed with that, I'm sure."
"Don't I know it.", Mrs. Smith said quietly.

The photographer opened his briefcase and pulled out a portfolio of his baby pictures.

"This was done on the top of a bus in downtown London."
"Oh my god!!" Mrs. Smith exclaimed, tugging at her handkerchief.

"And these twins turned out exceptionally well-when you consider their mother was so difficult to work with."
"She was difficult ?" asked Mrs. Smith.

"Yes, I'm afraid so. I finally had to take her to Hyde Park to get the job done right. People were crowding around four and five deep, pushing to get a good look."
"Four and five deep?" asked Mrs. Smith, eyes widened in amazement.

"Yes", the photographer said. "And for more than three hours, too. The mother was constantly squealing and yelling - I could hardly concentrate. Then darkness approached and I began to rush my shots. Finally, when the squirrels began nibbling on my equipment, I just packed it all in."
Mrs. Smith leaned forward. "You mean they actually chewed on your, um.. equipment ?"
That's right. Well madam, if you're ready, I'll set up my tripod so, that we can get to work."
"Tripod??".

"Oh yes, I have to use a tripod to rest my Canon on. It's much too big for me to hold very long.
Madam?
Madam?.....
Good Lord, she's fainted!"
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 -- Jokes in this category: 36 --  
below are more jokes in this category - click a title
   One wish     The pig and Mrs. Johnson    
   The Big Game     Romance Mathematics    
   MOM'S DICTIONARY     Misconception    
   Who's henpecked?     This is scary...    
   Men and Women quickies     more Men and Women quickies    
   Realistic Barbie dolls     Getting the bartender Hot ..    
   HOW TO IMPRESS A WOMAN     If Women Ruled The World    
   Uh oh ...     Why we love kids (?)    
   News Flash about Men's Health     To women everywhere - enough!    
   A genie story     Golfing with the wife...    
   Bridging the gap between the sexes     WHO WEARS THE PANTS?    
   Real Women     As I've Matured...    
   Things that men know.     Breasts & Veggies    
   Pregnant laughs     Boat Story    
   Tired of male-Bashing jokes     Eyesight is fine    
   An irishman     Simply irresistable    
   Quick, before it starts     Product safety alert    
   Thoughts about Men     THE LAST CHILD SUPPORT CHECK    
          
 
 -- Back to category list --
 


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